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Top Ten Amazing Answers in a class test.

At the close of last term, I carried out a survey to help me be a good teacher to my students the subsequent term. Accordingly, I made them write what they think could be done on my part to make their studies more enjoyable and effective as well. Many suggestions cropped up notable among them were that I gave them more class assignments as well as class tests. Hmmmmm ɛyɛ asɛm oo! More class tests for almost 500 people? Where the hell am I going to get the strength to mark these scripts? On this premise I consulted the tutors of the other areas of the integrated science (Biology and Agric science) to organize a mid-term test.

For the whole of this term, my Physics and Chemistry aspects have been on energy and IUPAC system of naming inorganic compounds respectively.

In fact, I even prompted them on the very questions they should expect. Some classes were even lucky as I took them through those questions in the morning of the day they took the exams. One… two … three …pi … START WORK!
During the marking of the scripts, the punches really hit me hard as if I was in the boxing ring with the Professor. You should see the gibberish on the paper. Is that what we waste our time and energy to teach these people? These were some of the questions I always ask myself and some other teachers whenever I’m marking exams scripts. I’ve discussed their abysmal performance at exams with the most experienced teachers and educators here and they always point to one fact: the foundation! They are ill prepared at the Primary and JHS level. To add insult to injuries, the big wits around here make sure they either get WAEC apɔ or bribe the invigilators during the BECE so that the kids are assisted during the exams. No wonder a Form One student thinks he has the right to bring in apɔ or indulge in any exams malpractice he so desires!

The result is what I always see during invigilation or marking of scripts, and you’ll also see in the paragraphs that follow. Surprisingly, about 70% gave these answers verbatim, implying they cheated in the exams room under strict conditions.

Be warned that I’ve taken pains to ensure that there is no room for typos!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, my TOP TEN ANSWERS IN MY CLASS TEST!

1. “Solar energy is a planet that help human being move from a place to another.”

2. “Solar energy is an energy which occure through by natural energy.”

3. “Solar energy that help used fule.”

4. “Solar energy is a type of energy that opposed or charge by the sun during afternoon.”

5. “Solar energy is a energy which is made up of the moon the solar and the nine planet.”

6. “Solar enegy: it is a process whereby two or more substance is generated to produce light.”

7. “What is dentition is the part of the human body which help human to brack down food to the body.”

8. “Kinetic energy: is a process whereby two substance is combined to produce heat for domestic purposes.”

9. “Binary compound: it is a process where they comband two things togethers”

10. “Vegetable reffered to lifes and vegeta or life that can talking it row with out any things”

I would like to use this platform to launch a passionate appeal to all you out there to come out with ideas to help our brothers and sisters in the basic schools of our hinterlands, draw up a proposal and present these proposals to the relevant agencies. We can even form an NGO if we get enough funding to lead the campaign for quality education at the basic level in all rural areas of Ghana to avert this looming danger: grooming educated illiterates!

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Posted by on July 9, 2011 in Amenfi

 

The days of Ex gratia draw nigh! ….. kyekyekule to the rescue!

JAK’s (or gentle giants) regime came with many vocabs, phrases and clauses that quickly became part of our daily communications and interactions with our friends and loved ones. These ‘terms’ actually enriched our local lingua, and to me tried to foster some sense of national unity in terms of language. Do you remember telling your friends stuffs like “me bɔtɔ mu kɔ HIPC” when your pockets ran dry?

Yeah, there were stuffs like ‘kick-back’, ‘connections’, ‘ … on the drawing board’, ‘plans are far advanced’, ‘the value is the same’, ‘Kuffuor bus’, ’HIPC’, ‘waawaa’, etc. I always wonder why the lexicographers at Oxford and Cambridge and even our own Microsoft couldn’t incorporate these ‘terms’ into their various dictionaries and encyclopedias. Back home, I think the scholars at the UG’s Languages Department and Ghana Institute of Languages should’ve done something about these ‘terms’ so that they were incorporated in our languages (ALL languages I mean) which over long periods of time can be compiled and can evolve into a pidgin-of-a-sort which could be used as a national language just as our friends in Naija have done. You might wanna start compiling ‘terms’ coming out since Uncle Atta took office.

My favourite ‘addendum’ as a result of Gentle Giant’s rule to our local ‘word bank’ was …… EX GRATIA! Yes Ex gratia, you heard me right! My Encarta dictionary tells me ex-gratia is “given as a gift, favor, or gesture of goodwill, rather than because it is owed”. Seen? Hmmmmmmmmm nsɛm pii!!!!!!!

Back on campus, one could hear out-going executives of various groups talking about the ex gratia they would enjoy after their term of office or service. Hmmmmm enjoyment after …………..???# Kuagbenu put me here to serve my nation, on the backdrop that he’ll pay me ₵202.90 monthly to make my service comfortable. But verily, verily I say unto thee that life has not been that rosy for me in this part of our motherland as I struggle to live on the ‘theoretical’ ₵202.90. This is quite abnormal because we always know that the cost of living in the countryside is always low. Thanks to the gold deposits and the massive cocoa plantations, the cost of living here is about twice that of Takoradi and Tema. Perhaps, the only cheapest thing here, on my side would be ‘kyekyekule’, which all of you know is NOT in my line of business. So for me, nothing is cheaper here!

I’ve proudly served my nation in a way of teaching Physics and Chemistry (sometimes Math and the English language to drive home my point). Charley, I no be small boy sake of I dey teach about 500 students. Sometimes, I have to withdraw from my early morning ‘abrewa’ (a ‘chop-bar’ I frequent for my fufu and bush meat) visit and get back to the classroom (thanks to the school’s siren) to teach for eighty minutes per ‘round’ on an empty stomach. Hope you saw my ‘apparent loss in weight’ after the first and second terms’ vacation. Sometimes, when duty calls, I have to arrange ‘extra-extra’ classes with my students free of charge to increase the contact hours. Just last two weeks, we organized a class test which they were suppose to pay to cover the cost of printing and stationery, but upon the good negotiation skills of ‘yours truly’, they had it for free. ‘Ebi nsii da wɔ AMENSS’, a lad confided.

After setting exams questions, you’ll have to type them especially so if you’re teaching math and science because of the technicalities of the symbols and notations, as you’ll not like to go round the classes to make corrections when they are busily writing their gibberish.

Sometime last term, I had to sacrifice my time and energy and cut short my holidays to help SOHCAHTOA (the former IT tutor) to put the ‘electronic abacus’ in the lab in good shape and in the process I damaged my bronya atareɛ. I don’t know how much I know about computers, but I’ve assumed the status of Bill Gates, Linus Torvalds, Paul Allen, Mark Zuckerberg, Michael Dell all rolled into one down here; fixing peoples PC s and other electronic gadgets down here, all for free. Someone wondered why I do it for free because they pay quite considerable amount of money to guys from Kumasi for simple things like anti-virus update! When the pressure heightens, I have to run away and cool off at Paa Kwesi’s station at Wassa Samang. You see…. hmmm …these are the ‘little-little’ things that put pressure on ‘yours truly’ and also keep him updated with the outside world.

Now shall you all join me to sing this song because service is almost over and the Lord has been good!
Yɛ be to Ebenezer,
Nyame n’adom ara kwa,
Kae deɛ Onyame ayɛ ama wo,
Na fa nnase ma no.

……. Praise the Lord! For the Lord has been so good me; no motor accidents, no bad news from home (except for the unwanted visitors), in fact, ‘no-nothing’ but blessings nyafu.

Since our service will be over, we thought it wise and ‘kuffuorish’ to constitute a committee to probe into a befitting ex gratia package for all of us (servicemen). I hope you can guess what the ‘all play all’ committee came out with as regards the ex gratia package. I’m giving you up to the count of three, yes, ebasa to guess our ex gratia!! One… two… three… pi! What came to mind? Yeah, you had it right! ‘KYEKYEKULE’ would be the most rewarding!! Seen? Hell Yeah! (Honestly, hmmm… as for this one deɛ… me suro nso oo!) For we can’t go to the account office and get the school’s cheque books, sign for thousands of Ghana cedis, go to Amenfiman rural bank and get wads of cash. We can’t also go to the stores and pick up valuable items belonging to the school, etc. The only logical thing to do is to go the Conti and Tech Sec Kyekyekule way. Whilst the only human being amongst us (Nipah) is being hypocritical about this, others are coming out with ingenious and laudable ways to get our ex gratia package.

Someone suggested that we package it like how the ‘check-check’ seller would do to his/her fried rice in a ‘take-away’ bag and take it home for ‘eating’. Another also suggested that we play what he termed ‘fa ho gye mu’ tournament with members of staff and do as the statement says; ‘hybridize’ with the sheep and chew the damn grass!

In the heat of further deliberations in our room one night about the modes of taking the ex gratia package, another suggestion came out. Can you guess? Wow I love this!! That is simple. It is based on the premise that we cannot be thirsty in the abundance of water, (for that would make us fools) the suggestion was that we take it as a prescription from the hospital; e.g. 1 kyekyekule to be taken 2 times daily, 2 kyekyekule to be taken 3 times daily, etc, each man according to the horsepower of his ‘engine’.

That is a brilliant idea, we’ve commission a team of engineers to determine the horsepower of each engine and give it the necessary dosage of kyekyekule for maximum enjoyment of this wonderful ex gratia down here. Wanna party with us? Twa m’ahoma trofoɔ no!
Till then, I’ll say Akropong dey beeeeeeeeeeeeee kɛkɛ!

 
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Posted by on July 8, 2011 in Amenfi

 

A trip with my people.

Hi pals! Forgive me for being such a lazy blogger, or in typical Ghanaian mannerism, I’ll just say ”it’s not my fault “ like that kid in the Omo commercial.

I believe by now most of you will be wondering where this dude has been for this length of time. My simple answer is that I’ve been around, trying to keep my cool and making sure not to be caught by what I call ‘after service blues’. Sometimes the pressure just keep mounting on my innocent medulla oblongata, so much so that I have to cool off at Wassa Samang ; a village nearby that reminds me of my own Akuse.

This term began with high hopes and of course some uncertainties that cannot be modeled by the Monte Carlo simulation. This is quite usual with us humans, right? You can always ask the anthropologists if you think my engineering brains are lying. As usual, I kept my ears on the ground and boooooooooooooooooooom! Heard there was going to be a trip to Ghana’s ‘law factory’, parliament house I mean! Ei finally some of my people will be visiting the nation’s capital for the first time in their life. Thank God and Listowell as well, the organizer.

Hey, take your time and let me explain the rationale behind the trip. Listowell told me it was intended for students of Government (aban). This was to offer them the opportunity to understand the act of enacting laws in Gh, observe and acquaint themselves with parliamentary proceedings, and interact with the law makers fiilifiili! I will add sightseeing to the list of activities. The organizer, Listowell (a V-mate) is a fine gentleman and has a great sense of humour. I always wonder why David Dontoh couldn’t find and host Listowell in ‘the humour in me’ TV show. I tell you he can compete with the likes of Klint, Teju Babyface, Mr Bean, Funny Face, etc. He is a product of many secondary schools in the Ashanti region, but finally completed the ‘A’ level at the Prempeh College, I think. He gained admission into the University of Ghana and graduated with a BA degree in Political Science. He currently teaches Government at my ‘kuagbenuic post’.

As expected, arrangements were made for transportation and thanks to the overwhelming number of students, they had to go in for another bus to ‘complement’ the effort the school’s 30 seater Eicher bus. With some few phone calls, they got one of the precious gifts uncle JAK (NOT Papa J) bequeathed to ‘penniless’ commuters like my honourable self and my people; the almighty Kuffuor bus.

At exactly 2:05 AM on Wednesday (15th June, 2011) we set out from our small Miami (Wassa Akropong) to what our MP (Hon Aidoo) said was/is the maiden visit of his secondary school kids to the Parliament House. Prior to that, I was told most of the guys did not sleep, but instead, chose to keep wake at the car park under the guise of watching over the ‘Kuffuor bus’. Ei, the Accra fever has really caught up with these guys. You can’t really blame them. Take it as your first trip to abrokyire (I’m really looking forward to this, can any obroni gimme invite for visa and top it up with plane ticket?)

Going by the Dunkwa-on-Offin route was not our option at that hour so the chief driver (Evans) advised that we go by the Tarkwa route. At about 5:00AM we got to the Oil city and that was where I got the impression that some of my people have not travelled out of the Amenfi traditional area in their entire life!

On the Takoradi – Cape Coast stretch, someone shouted “ɛkwan bi nie”. What? The lad is seeing an asphalt road for the first time. As a good teacher, I seized the opportunity to be their tour guide; showed them the various routes, some educational institutions in Cape Coast like the UCC, Adisco, Mfantsipim, Aggrey Memorial, etc. I also showed them the route to the Elmina castle, Kakum National Park. I even showed them the road to my beloved hometown (Gomoa Kokofu) when we got to Mankesim. In just a matter of time, we were welcomed to Kasoa. You don’t need anyone to tell you this is Kasoa; the traffic jam will do that, and it did! After being smoked by the exhaust of some jalopies in Kasoa, we geared up for another discomfort at Mallam Junction, but thanks to JAK and the Uncle George Bush, work on the Mallam Junction was progressing steadily. There too, I had to appeal to Dr Andoh’s course, Strength of Materials as well as Dr Ampofo’s Basic Mechanics to explain how that over – heard is being built and how it’s the best thing that will happen to daily commuters on that stretch upon completion. An engineer should be versatile, seen?

Soon, we’re on the Barnes Street or whatever they call it and towards the national theatre. There too, some of my people marveled at the tall buildings (the Cedi House, Heritage Towers, the new Moevenpick hotels, etc ) and some of them asked me how it was built. I simply answered that they used scaffolds, or did I lie to them? In a matter of five minutes, we’re at the Dome and quickly branched off to the Parliament House. That was about 10:00AM.

Our MP, Hon Aidoo came to welcome us and we were quickly ushered into the house by one of these ‘Ewuraba Artificial’ into the main House. We took the upper chamber and observed proceedings. The Honourable Minister for Agric was on the floor, giving an account of the disturbances in one of the fishing areas of this motherland of ours. The next item he had to present to honourable members was the cause of low yield in Northern Ghana these days. In the course of his presentation, the Hon minister for agric mentioned green house gases, ozone layer and global warming. Ei, parliament dey beeeeeeeeeeee papa! Hon Aidoo, our MP quickly got up and asked his questions and later, as a supplementary question, asked the Hon Minister to explain to the audience, especially the school kids, what green house gases and ozone layer are and further use that to explain how those things bring about global warming. Shhhhhhhhhhh! Ɛsɛ w’ani na ensɛ w’aso. There was the usual ‘hear-hear’ and the other forms of heckling characteristic of our parliament. The speaker did not allow the minister to answer that because in the speaker’s wisdom, that question was irrelevant. Hey, who told you Mr Speaker that some ‘small’ science education in the house is irrelevant? Huh? Then let’s scrap the Integrated Science subject from the system.

After sometime, the proceeding was over and I quickly rushed down to Osu to get some food. The MP provided some ‘chop-chops’ though. Then there was the bombshell, they littered the lobby with tissue papers, and bottle corks. Thereafter, they took some snapshots with some MPs and well as their MP. At about 2.00 PM we set off for our small Miami. The outward journey was so tiresome that am still feeling its effects.

If you want more filla, just hit my ‘ahoma trofo’.              

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Highlife Rides High Here and Beyond.

I wish uncle Mac Tontoh, Kiki Gyan and a host of the other Osibisa members were alive and here at Wassa Akropong to welcome me back from a chaotic capital (Accra of course) with their hit song “Welcome Home.” Man, Accra is in a total mess! Tuning in to FM stations, one after the other in the Capital,and finally settled on one of them because of the topic they were discussing. Wait and I’ll tell you. I listened to the program and a bunch of the panel members were of the view that Highlife is dead. Well, I share in their sentiments, taking cognisance of the fact that hip-life and hip-hop have taken a better part of the patrons of music these days – at least the current generation. That is perfectly natural isn’t it? “ɛfɛ a aba no na yɛ di!” to wit “we go along with current jargons!”

These days, it is not unusual to see young guys with earpiece stylishly glued to his youthful ears and carried away by the spirit of Abɔdam or Weezy, singing and performing some stage moves wherever they find themselves – in the streets, check-check joints, bus stops, on board troskis, etc, some ignorant of the danger it poses to their lives. Rap! Rap!! Rap!!! And so it goes. We love hip-hop and hip-life.

The ‘colo’ people on the other hand, see this development as a threat to our cultural heritage – because High-life played anywhere is seen and recognized as truly Ghanaian. To ‘pump’ some high-life sense into the medulla oblongata of the youth, various initiatives have been taken. Notable among them is the TV reality show “Bands Alive” Yeah! Bands and high-life are synonymous! Highlife goes with live band performance, right? For hiplife, no way! Just get a DJ or even a computer, make a playlist and voila! The artiste has to just sing along. Also, various entertainment centres have taken a bold step by organizing live band shows, especially on Friday nights and Sunday afternoons alongside some omotuo (‘rice-gun.’) Isn’t that refreshing? Ask Enoch or Piu or Blunt I if I’m lying!

But I want to assure everyone out there that, just as Kwabena Ɔboɔ said “Hiplife is never gonna Die”, I would also say that “Highlife is never gonna die!” At least not in this part of the GH- Wassa Akropong and beyond. Imagine my amazement during my early days here, when I woke up one morning and heard “ wo nkoaa, ɛni m’a werɛ kyekyerɛ, me nni enidasoɔ biaraa, m’e nya enigye a efir w’ara” coming out of one of the students going about his chores. Hey, take your time! Do you know the person who sang that song? “ei, so upon all the weezys, Eminems, Edem Ayigbes, Ɔbrafoɔs, Sakordies, this lad cannot find any suitable 21st century song than Paa Bobo’s ‘Comfort’?” I thought.
On my way to one of the classes, another bombshell was dropped. This time it was “anoma bi tse kwayɛ mu, ɛsu a ɔresu ne sɛɛ fa wo ntoma bɛ bɔ me deɛ ano!” Ei, this people go kill me oo!

Do you remember our secondary school (NOT High school) days when we ‘chewed and poured’ the lyrics of hit songs then, to the neglect of our academic works? I remember guys like Lash could ‘regurgitate’ Eminem’s tracks like no one’s business. But this is not the case here.

There was the carols night last December , and whew, brassband music be what? Almost all the highlife tunes I know were ‘brass-bandised’ that night. “That’s cool” I thought, “these people really cherish our cultural heritage.” I passed by the assembly hall one night and hell yeah! Highlife all the way at Saturday’s entertainment. Highlife den ‘asabɔne’ be what?

You hit the streets of Wassa Akropong at night and you’re sure the ‘galamsey’ boys would do some wonders/magic with highlife tunes. From Mercy Land to wherever, highlife rides high!

see u’all!

 
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Posted by on May 30, 2011 in Amenfi

 

21ST MAY, 2011- NSƐM PIIIIIIII!

Man, towards the latter part of the 20th century through the 21st century has done a lot with his brains. From building giant metallic beasts to fly in the air to those that can float on sea to drill for oil. From building structures as high as the heavens and those that can actually stand tsunami. From sending robots as small as the atom through the human body for detecting ailments to finding cure to some diseases that could only be cured by some miraculous means. In our part of the world, or as CNN and the BBC would say “elsewhere”, nothing much can be talked about in terms of technological advancement. Instead, we have ‘reverse-advanced’ from the once planned city of Tema to a messed-up Tema. We have ‘reverse-advanced’ from the once profitable OSA and STC to useless STC.

Oh, I almost forgot, modern science can predict the exact time and duration of an eclipse. Isn’t this wonderful? Owing to these advances in human knowledge, we think we know so much about the universe than the One who created it. What am I hearing; someone has predicted that the world would come to an end tomorrow? Remember Jesus warned us thus “ Beware of false prophets, who come to you dressed as sheep, but inside they are devouring wolves.” – Matt 7:15.

Jesus on his days on this Earth was once asked this question and He answered that not even He but only the Father knows when the son of man will come in His full glory. To me I believe Jesus can come at anytime time, t.

But taking things on the lighter side, I think if these people are in Gh then the law of causing fear and panic has some sort selective application. For how can it apply to Ato Kwamena Dadzie and others and not these false prophets and self-made secretaries of God who knows His every schedule and maybe His entire calendar?

But all in all, things are not too different in Accra (sorry I didn’t tell you I’ve left my small Miami for Accra). Trotro drivers are as usual hooting their horns with their mates making the usual ‘circ…circ. Kanesh, 37…37…Medina Old road’ and stuffs like that. Hey, the traffic-jam at Mallam Junction was quite unusual after the diversion. The tyres of the cabs and troskis could barely go one complete revolutions per 20 minutes. Hey where are all the people from Kasoa, Weija and others rushing to do at Cirlce or Accra when we’re just under  24 hours to give an account of our days on earth. Were some of them going to buy more DVDs to actually burn their digital autobiographies and show it to the Lord come tomorrow? Were they going to their last ‘runnings’? These are some of the questions I asked myself as I sat in the troski.

I got to Nkrumah Circle and the story is not any different. Ei Ghanafo paa! Ana mo ntsi deɛ ɛɛkɔ ana? Nyame reba ɔkyena. So I rushed down to Ghana Book Trust to check on some few books. I didn’t get what I was looking for, and who cares? I rushed down to Dan’s office inside the Accra Brewery. Oh my God, today is Friday, free booze for the guests of members of staff. Dan is National Service personnel so I also qualify for…. Please stop thinking what you’re thinking else u’ll be shamed tomorrow if u’re behind me in the judgment queue and the Lord shows my videos! Ei, come see the numbers that were trooping in there. Ah Ghanafo paa! Dɛm na wɔ tse a? ɔkyena wɔ bobu akonta afa wɔn abrabɔ ho, na wɔ redzi abɛ dei? And of course there were the big men with plenty of flesh on their belly with the young girls. “God will get you tomorrow”, I said to myself. And the guys were also seen trying to catch the ‘spectator ions’ of the girls for the night I guess.

As usual, we had to wait for Lloyd to pick us in his Ferrari of an Opel and send us home peacefully. There and then too, the debate on as to whether Jesus will come tomorrow sparked some controversies. Lloyd and Nii were of the view that since New Zealand is some GMT+12 hours, and nothing has been heard from their side, it means Jesus is no more coming. Dan and I were also of the view that the prediction gave the time to be around 18:45 GMT, we still have about 8 hours to hold on to.

I googled 21st may the end of world, i got some 472,000,000 results in just 0.7 seconds.

In a nutshell, people in Accra are living their lives normally, as if the Lord would never come.

Be sure u’re not behind people like Panta when the trumpet blows, and guys like him because their videos would take much longer time.

See y’all???!!??

 
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Posted by on May 20, 2011 in Ghana

 

Back To My Small Miami

Hey buddies, I’m very disgusted at some of you for not hooking me up when I came down to the capital for vacation a few weeks ago. That’s the best part of being posted to teach for your national service. The worst part of it is that you guys didn’t fill me me in on issues that surfaced during my absence; politics, social events and others.

The most painful of it is that none of you called me to check on my health status when I fell ill. The malarial parasites down here in Akropong  took a swipe on me during the last days of last term. As with typical Ghanaian attitude, me dea ma Nyame, and I pray to him to forgive you of your sins.

My school was to re-open on 2nd May theoretically; this means students and teachers alike were supposed to report on the said date so that classes begin the next day. Since I belong to neither of these classes/categories, I decided to report on the 9th to start teaching. Like Dr Achireko would say, “alas to my utter dismay” only about 30% of the entire student population (about 1500) had reported.” This cannot happen in Germany!” I said to myself! This is the only secondary I’ve seen where tutors would come and wait for students after re-opening.

I consoled myself and went to one of the classes only to be met with another slap in the face; only about 10 students were in the classroom out of a total of about 75 students. I decided to take them through the previous term’s exams questions so as to point out their mistakes to them and was met with fierce resistance. What a world! This was one of my lowly days in life, for these students are not very good academically and they would not allow you to help them out.

Not knowing what do, I went round town to check up for updates; as to new joints, if you know what am talking about.

I usually call this place Miami, because of the love of the people for entertainment. They love to patrol the streets at night, check in at drinking spots like Angola or pubs like cheers to ‘crack’ some few bottles, after a hard day’s work in the deep pits of the mines (‘galamsey’ I mean).

In effect, am back in town, though journeying to this place is quite treacherous, safe and sound and gearing up for the last days of my contract with Kuagbenu (or should I say Uncle Atta?)

 
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Posted by on May 13, 2011 in Amenfi

 

The Saga of the Narrowee

Whoever thought you can not be narrowed after school must reconsider his thoughts about this issue. My pal down here has been narrowed several times by his roomy. Ei do you remmember those days in that small rooms we had in the halls of residence when your roomy got a female visitor and you had to excuse them or gave them privacy? In Katanga, people were seen sleeping at odd places such as Menhyia, TV room, close to St John, the tunnel between the main hall and the annex, etc. Some were even got up by the powerful forces of nature (in this case sleep) in the hall chapel after praying for hours on end for the good Lord to intervene to change the ways and minds of their roomies. Thank God my roomies; Sam, Bossman and Henry could not narrow me in my first year because they are toothless bull dogs. But the situation was far different in final year, thanks to Reggie.

Before I go on let me introduce the two gentlemen who will feature prominently in this post; Ray and Iceberg.

Ray is a nice gentleman from Kumasi, Accra and other places in Gh. I always see him as the next big name that will come up in Gh business. Damn! he’s a real Asanteman. He graduated from the UCC with a degree in Chemistry. Am pretty sure he’s competing with Kwabena Darko by now. He’s a service personnel at the GES office here in Wassa Akropong.

Iceberg is also a fine gentleman, lives in Takoradi and full of the Fanti DNA sequence. I always wonder why he’s not a cast of my favourite TV series “Efiewura” to act alongside Koofori and Judge Koboo. He also graduated from the same university as Ray and a service personnel at the district social welfare office.

Well, Iceberg has an empress (Icewaa) whom I know he loves dearly and I understand she’s also performing her national service duties nearby. Please don’t ask me where, when and how the two of them hooked up, I don’t know it myself. Legend has it that they met under rather strange circumstances. And so it is. This means Ray has to find refuge somewhere whenever Icewaa came to visit. On one occasion, I got a distress call from Ray that he needed a place to pass the night. I could hardly understand the guy, but thanks to Danny, I got a place for him. And then just three days ago, he was narrowed again by his roomy for the fourth consecutive week. Ei Iceberg, what at all do you want from Icewaa?!!!

When he’s narrowed and comes to ‘petch’ at my place, he wakes up confused, like a boozeman who just woke up and found out he had slept in a gutter all night long. He does not even know that he has to wash his face, clean his teeth, etc.

What’s more? He sit on the bed trying to dictate to his hosts what they should do, like Mugabe or Qathafi. After much talking and baseless argument, and of coursesome reluctance, he takes his bath and heads towards his place. You see him coming back after some few minutes, obviously angry…ei abrantiɛ, me na me yɔ yɛ? Shut up and suffer! The confusion continues on and on till about three days when our dear Icewaa is long gone to her station.

 
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Posted by on March 27, 2011 in Amenfi